If you read my "about" page, you know that I started writing poetry at age 16. Now in my late 20s, I occasionally write poetry, but my focus has been more on my fiction. Since I don't want to lose my love for poetry (it's what got me started as a writer, after all), I want to start a new tradition on my blog: Throwback Thursday Poetry. Every Thursday I will post a "throwback" poem from my earlier days and my thoughts on it now. I pledge not to edit these gems no matter how cringe-worthy they may be. Let me grab a tattered notebook from my youth and we'll begin!
Each morning I awake to feel you,
Sharp, pulsating, and vengeful
The tight red cords of muscle
Pulling together to form a knot
Between my shoulder blades,
Aligned with my spine,
Where you punch and kick and bite
Like a newborn infant crying
For my attention, I rise
To carry you, stuck on my back,
My papoose, silent, growing like a weed,
I can’t reach to touch you, stroke you
I can only suffer you nagging at me,
Forcing me to hunch over, and
Battering the tears out of my eyes,
I cannot escape you knowing that
Only the hands that spin the knot
Are the ones that can massage it away.
My Thoughts Today:
First of all, I just want to say that I can't believe I have poems older than the iPhone. Ok, on to my more serious thoughts. I honestly can't remember writing this and I certainly can't remember what it was about as I'm sure the muscle ache is a metaphor for something. But, I'm glad to rediscover it as I can truthfully say that I enjoyed reading it. It's funny how reading your old writings can be so much like reading something someone else wrote. We, as humans, are constantly changing and I can really feel this when I read this poem. I'm going to go ahead and guess that I was thinking about an ex here when I wrote this, but I'd like to toot my own horn for a minute and say that I really nailed it when I was describing physical pain. And, 2006 Rachel did not even know what real pain was. But, after labor and childbirth, you better believe she does now. My daughter was born almost 4 months ago so the image of the newborn baby is really resonating with me today. It's clear from this poem that, in 2006, I viewed having a child as being nothing but a huge burden. I am happy to report that my present self has a completely different sentiment. In fact, no matter how much I hurt on a daily basis (it seems), I love carrying and holding my baby. I know she won't be this little for long.
On the whole, I like this little poem. I think I carried out the metaphor quite well and my descriptions of physical pain are spot-on. I wish I could remember what prompted me to write this, but I guess part of reading poetry is speculating what was going on in the poets mind. I can't wait to see what else is in these notebooks of mine, tune in next week for another TBT poem!
Rachel Boury Baxter
Writer: web content by day, fiction by night.